dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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