We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
