What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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