Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
