SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
