Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize