the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
