Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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