You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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