HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
