i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
