so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
