Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Pants are for mortals
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
