They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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