sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
