i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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