Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
