Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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