I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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