How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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