Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
