So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he had hair everywhere except his balls
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
