The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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