I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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