He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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