I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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