Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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