you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
