So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
