Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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