Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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