I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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