shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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