I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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