The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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