...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
