He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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