Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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