When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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