dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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