even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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