I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize