He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
