im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
