Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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