I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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