I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
