having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum