Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize