More tranny stories later!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
