How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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