My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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