Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriendâ€™s grandfatherâ€™s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?