Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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