Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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