Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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