We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bang-toberfest begins!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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