Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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